“Your Home Can Be 100% Childproof!”
Most of us know that’s not possible.
But for a fee (sometimes hefty), you can bring a self-proclaimed Child Safety Expert into your home to judge your killer surroundings. The author of this article in the New York Times invited several such folks to her place to point out the carnage her unstable furniture and garrote-like window shade strings had in store for the babies.
The author tells of her first such consultant visit:
Her initial consultation was $300. That’s a lot for a 45-to-60-minute visit, and supplies and installation are extra. But I was secretly hoping that while she was in my apartment she’d tell me how to rearrange my furniture or what to do about the rug I keep upside down, too ugly to show its face. Maybe by the time she left I’d be living in a space-age fun zone like the ones on her Web site…
Or maybe by the time she left, you’d just be $300 poorer.
Even with the help of a “professional,” doesn’t it seem impossible that one could childproof a home? Those rugrats are going to find all sorts of ways to get into trouble and endanger their lives. Of course, parents should do what they can to keep their home as safe as possible, but is the hiring of consultants going too far?
Besides, that $300 consulting fee could be spent on diapers–you know, to crap-proof your furniture.
Have any of you had a child-safety consultant in your home, or did you rely on common sense to make an attempt at childproofing? Care to share any childproofing tips/tricks?
NOTE: A search of “child proof” in Google Images resulted in this picture. It also speaks to most everyone’s wish to have the Teletubbies incarcerated.
I’m impressed that someone has figured out yet another way to extract money from well-intentioned yet neurotic parents. Somehow generations have survived without this service. Cover the outlets, put away the knives and the breakable stuff, and lock the cabinets that contain the bathroom chemicals and the medicine. And maybe hide the keys to the Toyota?
Seriously. We were duped into buying a whole box of childproofing stuff that is still sitting in the back of the closet somewhere (anyone want it?). We covered the outlets, locked away the dangerous ingestibles and, wait for it, taught our daughter not to touch the breakables. Ok, we did have to put a Knoll coffee table with blade-like glass edges into storage — oh the sacrifices we make…
Love that you taught your daughter “not to touch the breakables.” I think it’s perfectly reasonable to instill the concept of fragility at a young age!
This is like the service that takes care of pets whose owners have been carried away by the rapture, only not nearly as practical.
There are always opportunistic people out there and there is a sucker born every minute. Common sense is free and intuition tends to be correct- we have only babyproofed a few things in our home- outlets, cabinet with cleaning supplies, and the bathroom. Like Mapledad, we moves some things around, however you will have to make many sacrifices for your kids and peace of mind for you with a young baby is proceless.