Matthew Winkler and his son, Logan, are traveling all 50 states to create a unique 6th grade of school. They’re in the home stretch: just three more States to go. Read the other installments here, here and here.

When people hear about this trip, the most common reaction is “That’s the coolest thing I’ve ever heard!” And then, after digesting the concept for a few minutes, most adults add, “What a great bonding experience for you and your son.” No doubt!

I considered myself a very engaged dad to begin with, but our mutual understanding and camaraderie has certainly jumped a couple of levels since our frequency of interaction rose to 100%. This has strengthened our bond in ways I’m sure I don’t even appreciate yet. As Logan advances through his teenage years, he’ll encounter sex, drugs, petty crime, and other adolescent pitfalls. In the wake of this trip, I anticipate that he’ll still feel comfortable confiding in me and hopefully even heeding my counsel. On the other hand, if we had spent this past year at home, our time together would have been restricted to my herding him onto the school bus in the morning, through his homework after dinner, and into bed at night. He’d probably have spent weekends avoiding school and anything associated with it, including me. Not a great launch pad for parent/teen relations.

In fact, I followed this typical path with Logan’s older sister during her early teenage years. I gradually transitioned from an authoritarian taskmaster to a background advisor as she grew up. I confess that I had trouble staying “hands off,” especially during the college application process last year. Ultimately, I decided that the worst-case scenario (a gap year) might really be the best next step in her personal growth. A senior this year, she dragged her feet until a New Year’s Day epiphany kicked off thirty days of scrambling for transcripts, teacher referrals, essays, forms, and fees before the February first college application deadlines. Could I have kept my mouth shut through the entire fall semester, while she procrastinated as the checkpoints on the college readiness calendar rolled past? I doubt it, so it’s probably better for both of us that I was out of town.

As another positive side-effect, my daughter and wife have had their own “bonding experience,” comprised of jointly running the house, nightly dinners for two, weekly chick-flicks, and plenty of estrogen laden, heart-to-heart talks about my daughter’s first boyfriend, her qualms about growing up, uncertainties about college, and melodramatic overreactions to the latest high school social crisis. In my absence, they even bunked together sometimes, talking late into the night. Although I missed them both during the past eight months, I’m glad I didn’t get in the way of this mother/daughter communion of souls.

2010 promises major life changes for our family. We’re planning to move to another state, my daughter will leave behind the security of her high school and childhood home, Logan will enter some new, unknown educational situation, and I’ll start a new job. These new challenges will cause tension, to be sure, but as a result of this past year, we’re well prepared to face them.