by contributor Paul Dain

Consider this a polite rebuttal to the post “Dressing Your Kids ‘Cool.’” You see, I’m the “major Devo fan” referenced in the piece and before I get too far along, I must make one correction. I never dressed my son up as a spud for Halloween, a spaghetti dinner, ice cream social, pancake breakfast, or other event where children could conceivably wear a costume. There is one photo the author likely remembers seeing in my home of him wearing an Energy Dome while sporting a black turtleneck. The Energy Dome is mine and worn by my son for only a few minutes – just long enough for me to capture the kick-ass moment with my handy camera. ‘Nuff said.

Now, on to the heart of the issue.

As a parent, you are inevitably confronted with this choice: will you let your child’s interests in art, music and culture be totally shaped by a highly-commercialized popular culture (which many parents do); or will you take a role in guiding them based on your own aesthetic, beliefs and taste? If you choose the latter, it may seem as though you’re coming off as a snob, particularly if your leanings are towards the alternative, avant-garde, ultramodern, etc.

However, you’re simply participating in one of the most ancient of all parenting customs. Throughout history, parents have routinely directed their children’s behavior via religion, politics, music, art, and even food (think about it – if you like Italian food, your kids will likely enjoy it as well). By definition, the word “tradition” describes the act of passing these collective beliefs and behaviors from one generation to the next by both family and mainstream culture.

Sharing your own interests with your children is nothing more than this. It only seems odd when your interests are not in complete alignment with mainstream culture (i.e., you’ve participated in a counterculture). Buying your toddler a Ramones t-shirt, or in my case a Descendents baseball jersey, is obviously an overt reflection of you more than your child. But, assuming you’re not a complete poseur, this is something you should be proud of since this artifact represents a piece of your personality that you hope will be carried on in future generations. The alternative is that they’re influenced by a bunch of milquetoast crap that you simply can’t stand and eventually turn into rabid Nickelback fans.

You see these kids all over town, attached at the hip or holding the hand of their “Fauxhemian” fathers.

It’s “the kid who dresses way too cool for his age.”

Perhaps they’re wearing the seemingly ubiquitous yet tiny Ramones t-shirt. (With the proliferation of this shirt, I’m pretty sure there are more child Ramones “fans” than adult ones.)

Or maybe it’s the infant wearing the onesie proclaiming “I’m going to get drunk at prom.” Awww, what a cute ‘n’ snarky baby!

I get it, someone has to dress the kid, and parents have certain tastes. But the moral dilemma persists: should you use the child as a billboard to display how cool/ironic/funny you the parent are? When the child is old enough, they’ll use clothing as a means of self-expression (and that clothing you will hate). If a kid’s too young to know any better, they’re wearing their parent’s self-expression.

I have a friend who is a major Devo fan. He got his boy listening to Devo at a very young age. Even dressed the boy up in the “Whip It” costume one Halloween. I’ve asked the dad to write about this phenomenon, but it seems to me that when his child was old enough, he might not have even liked the music, but continued an “interest” in it to make his dad happy, and to keep it something they had in common. But that’s a lengthier discussion for another day.

In the meantime, I’m waiting to see these mini-Ts or onesies at the playground: “I’m with the Wu Tang clan” or “I’m smarter than Sarah Palin.”

Up for debate: how far is too far when it comes to dressing and influencing your kids in the things you like?

Post script: one snarky piece of clothing I would actually consider dressing my kid in is the “I’m with stupid –>” onesie, only because it’s so true: I don’t have a clue how to take care of it.