There’s a new Little Tykes “toy” that’s getting a lot of attention recently: the Young ExplorerTM. I’m not sure how recreating a workplace cubicle will make your child an “explorer” in any sense other than the Microsoft browser. Most of us would imagine an “Explorer” playset to be something a bit grander: perhaps a sailing ship bound for undiscovered continents. Instead, Little Tykes has taken a harder tack towards reality. Foolish parents can purchase this tech-heavy playset for the low price of $2600 to prepare the child for their inevitable future: a series of cubicle-based jobs.
Mom and dad can also role-play to further simulate the workplace experience for baby. Dad can be the sycophant who kisses up to Mom, the “pushy” boss. Both will heap paperwork, unrealistic expectations, and vitriol upon the child as they learn to succeed in this unrewarding environment. At the right, you can already see dad playing “clueless coworker trying to be helpful,” pretending to understand something he doesn’t.
Maybe spending a minimum of 8 hours a day at this playset will help the baby empathize with what his parents are going through to support him. And just imagine the enriching conversations you’ll share about the joy of switching from Vista to Windows 7!
‘First Crushing Job Playset’ Features include (I’ve added some in bold):
- Flat desk area
- Crushing sense of futility
- Left and Right built-in mouse pads
- Bench seat that fits two children and offers storage inside for supplies
- Frustrated co-workers
- Malfunctioning Printer/Copier
- Computer wiring stores safely inside ventilated cabinet.
- Locking castors keep unit from rolling during use.
- Computer equipment features:
- Competent, Non U.S.-Based Tech Support
- Think Centre PC
- Internal DVD-ROM
- 160GB Hard Drive
- 10/100 Ethernet
- Microsoft® Windows (this is especially cruel)
- Sound Card and 2 External Speakers
- 19″ Widescreen Flat Panel LCD Monitor
- Computer Warranty: 1-year parts and labor.
- Pre-loaded educational software:
- Millie’s Math House®
- Sammy’s Science House®
- Bailey’s Book House®
- Mikey’s “Office Space” Interactive Movie DVD
- Haley’s “How to Blow 8 Consecutive Hours and Leave Mommy Alone” Town
- Sarah’s “Understanding Sexual Harassment” Place
- Jack’s “Be the Boss: Aggressive Management Styles” DVD
- Billy’s “Microsoft Office featuring Excel Spreadsheets” Funland