Found this entry on a funny site called “White Whine.” It’s basically the inverse of “Stuff White People Like” as it’s the stuff white people complain about. You might think this is a joke. Maybe it is. But many of us have met bat-shit crazy parents just like this.

The text reads:
“Subject: Snack Time. Hi Becky!. This is Kaylyn’s mum . I have a concern about the snacks that you’re serving to kids. Today we were in the store and Kaylyn pointed out the type of cookies that you served at the teddy bear picnic. Much to my dismay they weren’t a name brand. My husband and I pay very good money for childcare and we expect that corners won’t be cut in the care of our child. That and we don’t want to instill the sorts of values in her that make her think that it’s okay to settle for less than the best. That might be hard for you to understand but it means a lot to me.”

Love the passive-aggressive intro that includes a smiley-face! Clearly, this mom has lots of class issues, and I’m pretty sure the content of Oreos and Hydrox are the exact same (perhaps are even made at the same bakery). So all this woman seems to be teaching her kid is to pay a premium for something that’s no better.

What’s Band of Fathers for if not for pointing out horrible parenting thus making ourselves feel better?

In this week’s episode, a zany parent from Poland uses their car’s steering wheel as a child’s seat.

At first, it seems innocent enough. But as the video goes on, a more disturbing feeling settles in. You start wondering whether this is some sort of horrible video where a child is hurt. Luckily, it doesn’t end in disaster, but when they take a full left turn, things get really stupid.

Thanks, Poland, for reinforcing sterotypes!

The first “Twitter to TV” experiment—”S*#% My Dad Says”—is meeting with some resistance. Not just from people who will find it unfunny, but from parent’s groups that simply cannot stand by and allow a major television network to bring “shit” into their homes. As if they haven’t been doing that for years?

From the mention in today’s Huffington Post:

“Parents really do care about profanity when their kids are watching TV,” said PTC President Tim Winter. “All parents? No, but something like 80 or 90 percent of parents. Putting an expletive in the title of a show is crossing new territory, and we can’t allow that to happen on our watch.”

“Not on our watch.” Mr. Winter does cut a noble figure, doesn’t he? And his entirely fabricated statistic? That’s something he should be held accountable for. 80-90% of  parents “care” about profanity? In what way? Mr. Winter, please be more specific.

But back to my point: where were these parents groups to protect me from being visually crapped on when I was growing up?

“Alf”? “Small Wonder”? I didn’t see any parents groups backlash then. And what about current shows like “Desperate Housewives”? Or “South Park”? It’s all offensive, so just turn off your TV. Don’t allow your kid to watch it.

Again, it’s the Big Evil Company’s fault that kids are going to shit these days. And certainly not the parent’s responsibility.

William Shatner plays the dad in question on the show. And you have to love his response to all the hullaballoo:

“Do you know what I wish?” he said. “I wish they would call it Shit. I’ve got grandchildren. I brought up three girls. They’ve all got kids. OK? And you say, `Boopy-doo-doo, you’ve got to make poo-poo. Come on. Make poo-poo in the toilet.’ Eventually, poo-poo becomes shit. `Go take a shit, you’ll feel better.’ You say that to your kids. The word shit is around us. It isn’t a terrible term. It’s a natural function. Why are we pussyfooting?”

Not to mention the fact that the past-tense of shitner is Shatner.

by contributor Rob Curtis

Rescue is on the way to the Southern Indian Ocean in the midst of a mid-Winter storm to pick up 16 year old Abby Sutherland from her disabled 40ft sailboat. Of course we are are glad she is safe and out of harms way. With that said, no matter how well prepared Abby was (or any other kid who is attempting a life or death feat) you might think that Mom and Dad would take all the dangers into consideration before approving such a trip. In this situation, you have to call into question the timing of sending Abby across the Southern Indian Ocean during the winter.

There is an obvious trend of kids attempting world records—and most have been successful. But with all the success, there are the failures that put parenting styles in stark contrast. As as Dad and outdoor enthusiast, I can understand the allure of preparing your child for such feats. But when does it cross the line and become fuel for the parents massive egos? I know I’m passing judgment without having met any of these parents, but I still come to the conclusion that without egotistic parents, these kids would not be trying to break adventure records.

Here are the most recent examples of kids (and thus parents) pushing the extremes:

Early May, 16 year-old Australian Jessica Watson became the youngest person to sail around the globe solo, nonstop and unassisted. Thousands lined Sydney Harbor to cheer as she cruised past the finish line in her pink yacht.

A Dutch court late last year blocked an even younger sailor, 14-year-old sailor Laura Dekker, from pursuing a similar round the world voyage ordering her to prepare more and wait at least until this year before starting.

In January, 17-year-old Johnny Collinson of Utah became the youngest person to climb the highest peaks on all seven continents but the record is being threatened already by Jordan Romero.

Jordan Romero, 13 year old that Summited Everest and become the youngest person ever to summit the peak. He also summited Kilimanjaro when he was 9 years old and is now preparing for a trip to summit Vinson Massif in Antarctica to complete his quest of summiting the seven continents highest peaks.

While I think these are impressive feats and nothing short of amazing, I would rather these kids be back at home eating apple pie, doing homework, and riding their bikes around the neighborhood. They have the rest of their lives for non-parental-influenced adventures and should relax and just be kids looking forward to the nice weekend hike with Mom and Dad.

What are your thoughts on the extreme parenting styles demonstrated by these über-adventuresome kids?

From the Daily Mail in England comes the feel-good story of the year: little Ardi Rizal of Indonesia can smoke like a long-haul trucker (two packs a day!). And he’s only 2 years old! Go Ardi!

The whole story could very well be a parody the likes of The Onion. But the tale is somewhat easy to believe as it comes to us from the land of the 5 year old factory worker. Hell, those little kids need a cigarette break far more than any of us do.

I suppose you’re thinking, “What kind of awful parents…?” But your heart really goes out to them:

‘He’s totally addicted,’ says Ardi’s mother. ‘If he doesn’t get cigarettes, he gets angry and screams and batters his head against the wall. He tells me he feels dizzy and sick.’ Ardi’s father, Mohammed, however, says: ‘He looks pretty healthy to me. I don’t see the problem.’

You’ve got to give dad props for caring real hard.

Never thought we’d ask this, but what are your thoughts on babies who smoke?

Picture this: your wife’s water breaks and you have to get to the hospital immediately. What do you take: a bridge or a tunnel?

This bit of news from New York City came out about a month ago and has irked me ever since. With two bridges and one tunnel to choose from, a Brooklyn couple chose the tunnel to get into Manhattan. And the baby was born—guess where—in the tunnel.

I don’t know about you, but if I were in any sort of medical emergency situation, I’d opt for the bridge—every time. There are far less ways to get stuck on one. In a tunnel? Your chances of getting screwed are exponentially higher.

Insta-Quiz: Your wife’s at 7cm and contractions are 3 minutes apart, do you take the bridge or the tunnel?

UPDATE: I’ve gotten some comments (true or not, I don’t know) that this woman is a cancer survivor and I need to walk a mile in her shoes before I judge her. That is very true. If that’s the case, I certainly apologize to the woman. I’m glad she’s found a conveyance that gets her through her day. I’m also glad she’s using a proper crosswalk.

Yes, you’ve probably seen this picture before, but it’s too good to resist: the woman on a Segway pushing a stroller across the street.

This is so awesome. You have to give it to the woman for being on the cutting-edge of non-calorie-burning conveyance. Add that to the fact that she’s putting her child in vehicular danger, and she gets my vote for goofiest-parent-of-the-year award.

If you’re interested, here’s an interview with the person who snapped the pic.

We’ve all put our kids in dangerous situations (e.g., put them in a cab with no child seat, etc). What’ve you done?